2018 Update: After B-School, I became a Stripper...
One thing I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I
have a hard time keeping in touch as well as I’d like to, especially when life brings
more challenges than joyful updates to report. I tend to retreat and
communicate less, as if that helps contain my burdens from having an affect on
others. I don’t know that this is a unique or new social trend—though some may
suggest that our ever-smiling posts of Facebook and Instagram don’t help—none-the-less,
it’s a behavior I’ve recognized in myself that I’d like to change.
Most people know that in 2013 I decided to take the GMAT and
begin applying for BYU’s Master of Business Administration program for 2014. Turning
30 that same year, my life and career felt ripe for change. Through personal
prayers as well as conversations with many friends and advisors, I
chose to move forward and out of my relatively comfortable situation in San
Francisco working at corporate HQ of GAP and into the uncharted waters of a
career change in Organizational Development, student loans, and business school.
Fall of 2014 thru graduation in Spring 2016 was a time of stretching
opportunities for learning, growth, and life experiences. While my MBA program provided
constant challenge, I feel it was where I needed to be and I learn more
everyday how my life has been and will continue to be blessed by the
experiences and relationships grown during my second stint at BYU.
Since MBA graduation (nearly approaching 2 years now) I've had
some definite challenges and blessings on the career front and in my life
overall. Leaving Utah without a job lined up when I graduated in April 2016, I
continued interviewing and made my way home to the Bay Area where the majority
of my family and professional network are. My MBA advisors, interviews, research,
and work experiences left no doubt that it would be challenging to find a job
in Org Development, but I felt strongly about having this focus for work. That
being said, finding a company culture and role fit for me has continued to
provide design-thinking-like lessons (read: fail quickly and often).
Picking up temporary project work after graduating, including
floral design at Farmgirl Flowers where I worked with FLOWER strippers, ahem--yes nothing unsavory here, just a title to catch your attention--I also did even less glamorous part-time data entry, scrapping what I could together to pay the bills while I kept on the job hunt. As the holidays swept up the remainder of 2016, I didn't land a
full-time role until January 2017 when I joined an EdTech start-up called
Degreed as a Client Success Manager. Start-up life, remote work, and client
management provided more change, growth, and challenges as I moved to San
Ramon, CA to live with friends in an apartment in March. Unfortunately, after
some leadership changes in the Client Success team I was apart of, in
July—quite unexpectedly—I found myself once again looking for a new job. Under
the financial strain of Bay Area housing prices and loan repayment, I decided to
move-in with family in September. Shortly thereafter, I accepted a role that
seemed to be an optimal fit as a Consultant for a small firm called Mosaic,
specializing in workforce training and improvement for utilities and gas (in
the Bay Area= PG&E). Unfortunately, rather than strategic consulting, the
role turned out to be—essentially—a contract instructional designer, which is a
function I understand to a degree but have very little experience or training
in. So, in December 2017, I found myself on the job hunt once more and I’m
currently working on crafting a new approach for 2018, hopefully providing more
stability and successful outcomes.
In my personal and family life, losing 2 very dear loved ones this
past year—the first in May and another in November—paired with the uncertainty
of unemployment, financial stresses, disappointments in relationships, and an
on-going battle with depression, it’s been hard to accept the reality that I need
time to heal, counsel with the Lord, and seek advice from those I trust while
regrouping to find a path forward. While it hasn’t always felt like it, I do
know that I've been blessed to have the Lord with me throughout this time and
that He has given me the sufficient opportunities, tools, strength, and support
I have to enable a way through it, even though it feels messy and overwhelming
at times.
As 2018 begins, already filled with the old challenges and some
new, I’m working to remind myself of some quotes from those I consider wise
examples of life’s well-lived:
“That’s life: starting over, one breath at a time.” – Sharon Salzberg
“When life is hard, remember - we are not the first to
ask,
'Is there no other way?” –Jeffrey R. Holland
“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times,
He is with us.
He has promised that this will never change.” –Thomas S. Monson
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